Why being performative is essential to how community works
Describing someone as “performative” is a very common and effective criticism of their character. But the idea of performativity as something inherently negative - meaning fake, hollow, or done for show - is more recent than you may think.
Philosopher of language J. L. Austin introduced the idea of performative utterances in 1955 (book reccomendation here) to describe acts that don’t just describe reality but bring it into being - for example, saying “I do” at a wedding doesn’t reflect a marriage, it creates one.
This idea of acting to form has been expanded by people like sociologist Erving Goffman.
As Megan Garber highlights in this Atlantic piece that I highly recommend, Goffman showed how everyday social interaction is a form of performance.
The way we adjust our tone in different rooms, use small talk to connect, and use body language to indicate engagement or disapproval, are all performances.
Performativity isn’t opposed to sincerity and authentic connection - it’s often the mechanism through which they’re driven.
That’s not to say that scrutiny of intention is somehow new or solely contemporary - but nowadays there’s just almost no room for complexity, nuance, or an understanding of human behaviour.
Behaviour change studies show that attitude and behaviour influence each other in both directions - acting in line with a value before fully holding it is a recognised route to finally internalising it. Performance frequently precedes belief - and that’s often no bad thing.
Like being the life and soul of your friend’s birthday event when you’d rather be home.
Or reluctantly adopting a habit because you’ve been told it’s good for you.
I’m running the London Marathon this weekend - and whatever mix of reasons brings tens of thousands of people to the start line, the physical and communal experience of doing it together is real.
The whole discussion about the “performative male” - the man with the tote bag, kombucha, reading feminist literature on the train - follows the same logic.
There are of course men who adopt such aesthetics solely to exploit.
But there’s a difference between calling out dishonest behaviour and treating any visible alignment with progressive values as inherently suspect - which ends up reinforcing the very norms we should be challenging.
The problem isn’t that people perform - the problem is when performance replaces action entirely, or causes harm under the cover of good intentions.
Performativity can be used to describe many of the actions that healthy communities and societies depend on every day.
Visible acts of commitment and care, even if imperfect, self-conscious, or vague in intention, are part of how members of communities signal their values and strengthen bonds.